Saturday, October 18, 2008

The man without email

An unemployed worker applies at a large corporation the position of a janitor. The HR chief invites him to an interview and subjects him to some tests. After a while, finally the manager declares to him "Congratulations, you got the job. Now, just give me your e-mail address so that I can send you the employment contract as well as the day and time when to start."

The man is distraught and answers that he has no computer and therefore also no email.

"What?!", the manager almost says in dis-belief. He tells him that if he has no email address he virtually does not exist and therefore cannot hold a job! The man leaves in a desperate mood without knowing what to do with his last $10 in his pocket.

Finally he decides to go into a supermarket and to buy a $10 box of strawberries. He starts out with door to door calls in order to sell those strawberries by the pound. He manages to double his capital in 2 hours. He repeats the deal 3 times more and goes home with $60 in his pocket.

He realizes that he can actually survive this way! So he starts every day early and comes home every day late selling strawberries with total faith that his hard work would pay one day. Sure enough, he triples or quadruples his money every day.

A short while later he buys a wheel barrow, then exchanges it later into a truck and sooner or later is the owner of a complete fleet of delivery trucks! Five years go by… and luck and hard work combined to make the man a proud owner of one of the largest food chains in the country.

Now he starts thinking about the future for him and his family and decides to buy a life insurance. He calls an agent and selects a good policy. At the end of the negotiations the agents asks him for his e-mail address to send him a confirmation of the policy. The man tells him that he doesn’t have an e-mail address.

"That is strange!" says the agent, "you have no e-mail and nevertheless you built this large empire. Can you imagine where you would be if you you had an e-mail address?"

The man smiles to reply "I would have been a toilet cleaner in a large corporation."

Technology does not solve all the problems in our lives. Don't let it rule you - make it your slave, not your master.

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Monday, October 13, 2008

Source of the problem

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

"Here's what you do," said the doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so, He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story: The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, it could be very much within us!

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Friday, October 3, 2008

Voice of God

Does God still speak to its people? Well, its a matter of faith - either you have it, or you don't. But this story presents this subject so beautifully...

A young man bought a religious book. The book shared message about listening to God and obeying His voice.

The young man couldn't help but wonder, "Does God still speak to His people?"

After that, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message. Several different ones talked about how God had led them in different ways. It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, "God.. If you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey."

As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought, stop and buy a gallon of milk. He shook his head and said out loud, "God is that you?"

He didn't get a reply and started on toward home. But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk. The young man thought about a man and who didn't recognize the voice of God, and missed a good opportunity.

"Okay, God, in case that is you, I will buy the milk."

It didn't seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward home. As he passed Seventh Street, he again felt the urge, "Turn down that street."

This is crazy he thought and drove on pass the intersection.

Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street.

At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down Seventh.

Half jokingly, he said out loud, "Okay, God, remember I....He drove several blocks, when suddenly, he felt like he should stop. He pulled over to the curb and looked around.

He was in a semi-commercial area of town. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst of neighborhoods either.

The businesses were closed and most of the houses looked dark like the people were already in bed.

Again, he sensed something, "Go and give the milk to the people in the house across the street."

The young man looked at the house.

It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep.

He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat.

"Oh Almighty, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going to be mad and I will look stupid."

Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk.

Finally, he opened the door, "Okay God, if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will count for something but if they don't answer right away, I am out of here."

He walked across the street and rang the bell.

He could hear some noise inside. A man's voice yelled out, "Who is it? What do you want?"

Then the door opened before the young man could get away. The man was standing there in his jeans and T-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn't seem to happy to have some stranger standing on his doorstep.

"What is it?"

The young man thrust out the gallon of milk, "Here, I brought this to you."

The man took the milk and rushed down a hall way speaking loudly in Spanish. Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen. The man was following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The man had tears streaming down his face.

The man began speaking, and half crying, "We were just praying. We had some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn't have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking God to show me how to get some milk."

His wife in the kitchen yelled out, "I asked him to send an Angel with some milk. Are you an Angel?"

The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put in the man's hand. He turned and walked back towards his car and the tears were streaming down his face.

He knew that God, the Almighty still answers prayers and that God still speaks to His people.

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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Good news or bad news?

Good news or bad news? Well, it depends on how you see things. Hear this story:

Robert De Vincenzo, the great Argentine golfer, once won a tournament and, after receiving the check and smiling for the cameras, he went to the clubhouse and prepared to leave. Some time later, he walked alone to his car in the parking lot and was approached by a young woman.

She congratulated him on his victory and then told him that her child was seriously ill and near death. She did not know how she could pay the doctor’s bills and hospital expenses.

De Vincenzo was touched by her story, and he took out a pen and endorsed his winning cheque for payment to the woman. "Make some good days for the baby," he said as he pressed the check into her hand.

The next week he was having lunch in a country club when a Professional Golf Association official came to his table. "Some of the boys in the parking lot last week told me you met a young woman there after you won that tournament." De Vincenzo nodded. "Well," said the official, "I have news for you. She’s a phony. She has no sick baby. She’s not even married. She fleeced you, my friend."

"You mean there is no baby who is dying?" said De Vincenzo.

"That’s right," said the official.

"That’s the best good news I’ve heard all week.!" De Vincenzo said.

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.

When you consistently maintain a positive frame of mind, you'll become known as a problem-solver rather than a complainer. People avoid complainers. They seek out problem-solvers.

You can give in to the failure messages and be a bitter deadbeat of excuses. Or you can choose to be happy and positive and excited about life. The difference between can and cannot are only three letters. Three letters that determine your life's direction.

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Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Window

A young couple moved into a new neighborhood.

The next morning, while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hang the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean", she said, "she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap".

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbour would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband,

"Look! She has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this!"

The husband gave a polite answer "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others, depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge.

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