The bathtub sanity test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized."Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."

"Oh! I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the teaspoon and the teacup!"

"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

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Now that's called leadership

It was in the early sixties when I met Wing Commander A Suares for the first time. He was the Commanding Officer of a Canberra Bomber Squadron of Indian Air Force, a very prestigious appointment. I was posted there as a navigator. We had heard numerous tales of gallantry of our CO. Amongst his chest-full of decorations were two Vir Chakras. We were proud to be working with him.

Behind the gentle and pleasant exterior of Suares was hidden a very resolute and bold interior, exposed only when necessary. On such occasions we were awe-struck by his spontaneous leadership qualities.

It was a refreshingly clear winter day. Bubbles of spotless white clouds floated in the blue sky. Our CO ordered the whole squadron to fly a practice mission. The squadron was to take off in two flights (groups of aircraft), the Flight Commander was to lead the first flight and Suares the
second.

After thorough planning and briefing the squadron took off and proceeded to the mission in two flights. On completion we returned and landed safely. Satisfied that the mission was successful, we were returning to our residence, when almost suddenly the weather turned foul. Dark smoke-like fog had rolled in from one side over the runway and within minutes the entire area was covered with thick dense fog, reducing the visibility to almost nil, in Air Force parlance 'Poor Visibility'.

Soon we heard the sound of the Canberras of the second flight returning after their mission. Sensing the gravity of the situation we headed towards the Air Traffic Control (ATC) Office. When we reached there, we found that the Senior Air Traffic Control Officer (SATCO) had already rushed in and was in his seat controlling the aircraft. We waited anxiously on one corner, watching. The SATCO transmitted on radio telephony, 'SIERRA 1 (the flight leaders call sign), the visibility is 300 metres. You will hold on and await further instructions'. On checking the weather of the airfields where the aircraft (ac) could be diverted, it was found that there too the weather was grim.

With systematic instructions from the SATCO all the ac were spaced 1000 feet above each other, Suares being the lowest, awaiting further instructions.

Silence of a few minutes, which seemed like hours, was finally broken by the calm and collected voice of Suares- "Permission to carry out a circuit and land". The SATCO again reminded Suares the visibility was 300 metres. Knowing Suares' flying ability he finally permitted him to make an attempt.

Seconds ticked past. Then we heard the faint sound of an ac coming gradually closer to the runway. Suares was unable to align his ac with the runway on three attempts, but carefully correcting himself every minute with the assistance of the SATCO on radio telephony, he finally did it on the fourth attempt. We heard the ac approaching the runway very low and
finally the screeching sound of the tyres of the ac wheels touching the runway surface. Though we could not sight the ac yet we were relieved. But our relief was short-lived. Suares did not stop his ac. He accelerated and took off again and informed the SATCO that he would make another attempt.

He made three more perfect low-level circuits close to the runway, landed smoothly and took off.

We stood amazed. He was demonstrating to the other pilots who were in the air with him, that it was indeed possible to handle the ac perfectly, even in such low visibility. After his fourth take-off, he transmitted to the other ac, 'It is easy. Make a few approaches; align yourself with the runway and land. I have done it four times." The SATCO smiled at us and said "Son, that is leadership" and got on to his job of controlling and assisting the remaining ac.

The calm and courageous demonstration of our CO rejuvenated the entire flight of ac and gave a boost to their confidence. Emulating Suares, one by one all the ac landed safely. Suares was the last to land. Indeed, this was true leadership.

Some are respected, but there are some who are admired. Wing Commander A Suares was a leader of the rare brand who was loved, respected and admired for his distinct leadership abilities.

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The coffin plan

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.

Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone, he then got the body, put it in a casket and nailed the lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard to bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker.

The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was busy filling death certificate. When the care-taker would return, he would take the coffin outside and bury the dead body along with the woman. The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free!

The caretaker was reluctant initially, but since he had become good friends with her over the years, he agreed.

Day after day, the woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died.

And it happened. It was her lucky day today! She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She got up quickly but slowly walked down the hallway.

Her heart was beating fast. She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom. The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud. Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free! She was free! Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her.

And to her horror... she discovered... that she was lying next to the dead caretaker!

Many people believe they have life all figured out. But sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it. And that's where lateral thinking is needed. Always keep an alternative plan. Because you never know when you'll need it!

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The Dream Movie

Aaah... another one of those breathtaking and inspiring presentations - this one is about dreams.

• http://www.thedreammovie.com/

Hey, do you have a dream?!

If you do, I wish you success. Live your dream.

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Puppy size

The mother shook her head in frustration with her daughter. She then turned to the volunteer at the animal shelter.

"Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this," the mother told the volunteer.

"What is it she keeps asking for?" the volunteer asked.

"Puppy size!" replied the mother.

"Well, we have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for."

"I know...we have seen most of them," the mom said.

Just then Danielle came walking into the office.

"Well, did you find one?" asked her mom.

"No, not this time," Danielle said with sadness in her voice. "Can we come back on the weekend?"

The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed.

"You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a supply," the volunteer said.

Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. "Don't worry, I'll find one this weekend," she said.

Over the next few days, both mom and dad had long conversations with her.

They both felt she was being too particular.

"It's this weekend or we're not looking any more," Dad finally said in frustration.

"We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size either," Mom added.

Sure enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning.

By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs.

Tired of the routine, mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted.

Danielle walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one.

One by one she said, "Sorry, you're not the one."

It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup.

The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time she took a little longer.

"Mom, that's it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!"

she screamed with joy. "It's the puppy sighs!"

"But it's the same size as all the other puppies you held over the last few weeks," Mom said.

"No not size...the sighs. When I held him in my arms, he sighed," she said.

"Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sigh!"

The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug the child, she did a little of both.

"Mom, every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms," she said.

Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said, "Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart!"

Close your eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved ones, but in the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day.

They are the sighs of God. Take the time to stop and listen; you will be surprised at what you hear.

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